Jodoh-jodohan?

hari gene dicomblangin?

Kamis malam, 7:30
Gue lagu ngajar kelas Teen di LBB tempat gue udah kerja hampir setahunan ini. Waktu itu ada 6 anak yang dateng. Pas gue mo ngambil jurnal di meja receptionist, someone is waiting me in front of the door. She's my senior. Right then, she said that she was about to find me. then, she told me that someone else waiting for me in the guest room. i'm curious who he was.
I walked to the room, and what a surprise, he's the man who was always sending me sms. even just to say "Assalamualaikum". He's the man who is willing to know me closer. he's a ngarep, or not,I don't now exactly. he's my ex students, when I was teaching in an office for In House Training.

well, physically, he's good looking, well-shaped, clean, smells good, etc. Basically, he's nearly perfect. He is so cute, looks like a good man. yet, everything on him don't interest me at all.
Kamu tau kenapa? Yap. Semuanya perfect, kecuali satu hal, dia mirip dengan mantan tunanganku. Shit! How it can be the same?
bener-bener mirip. Sudut matanya, senyumnya, tahi lalat di dekat bibirnya, gendut-gendutnya, mannernya, suka guyonnya. Dan kamu tahu, bayangan-bayangan kekecewaan dan ketidakpenghargaan sontak terbayang di kepalaku. Yap. lelaki sejenis inilah yang dulunya sangat aku puja dan hormati. Namun juga yang sangat aku tolak pandangan hidupnya. yap, tipe-tipe lelaki patriarkal.

Aku yakin bin percaya, someday,ketika Ta'aruf ini berlanjut, aku harus merubah segalanya untuk dia.
Sikapku, pandangan hidupku, idealismeku, kritisku, liberalismeku.
No.
Gak akan.

Sekali sakit kurasa cukup.